The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once.If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck said, “Say Please.”.then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. The only thing they will share is the uterus and their birthday! Twins, two for the price of one? No, two for the price of two. (unknown)īaby twins: born together, grown together - friends forever! (unknown) A great neighbor will babysit twins! (unknown) Not double trouble, but twice blessed! (unknown)Ī good neighbor will babysit. Twins: born with a best friend! (unknown) When God sees a face he likes, he makes it twice! Yes, they are twins - and yes, I am tired. "Are they twins?" - " No they are triplets. "Are they twins?" - " No, it was buy one, get one free." "Are they twins?" - " No, I found the extra kid in the parking lot and thought why not?" There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. It's double the giggles and double the grins, and double the trouble, if you're blessed with twins. And many of these funny quotes about babies make nice nursery wall art, too. New moms and dads can also have these funny baby card messages in a photo album or in a family scrapbook. For example "We used to have time, now we have a baby!". New parents might like to have a funny quote as a funny baby announcement message. They will make the new parents smile and you can write them together with some personal sentences for the new family. These hilarious new baby sayings are great to use in funny baby congratulations cards and also as funny baby shower card messages. Use These Humorous Newborn Quotes And Messages For: (Mark Twain)Ī toddler can do more in one unsupervised moment than most people can do all day.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me. Today I have given notice on my studio apartment and have moved in with my parents.
I have given up single-life and have moved to a shared apartment - I like it there! - baby Life doesn't get more real than having a newborn at home. (Carol Burnett)Ī conscience is like a baby. Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. (Leo Burke)īecoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough. People who say, they sleep like a baby, usually don't have one. Starting today, it is me who'll decide when we get up! - baby If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time", you are the grandma! (Teresa Bloomingdale)īabies are always more trouble than you thought - and more wonderful. but just a little toothless smile and mummy and daddy are happy! They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannise their teachers (Sokrates). The hardest part of raising a child is having to stick to all these rules yourself! (unknown)Ĭhildren nowadays are tyrants. Once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer! (Jodi Picoult) The only things kids wear out faster than their shoes are their parents. Now, I have six children and no theories. (Bruce Lansky)īefore I got married I had six theories about raising children. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'. When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. How much patience you have, for instance. (unknown)įamilies with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other. The art of being a parent is to sleep when baby is not looking. (Shannon Fife)Ī father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be. Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. The child departs, leaving the house so silent you think you are going mad. (Milwaukee Journal)Ī child enters your home and for the next twenty years makes so much noise you can hardly stand it. A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house.
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